A Handy Guide to Republican Posting

As a service, we here at Blogger would like to write down some simple and often used guidelines for you Republican posters.

Rule # 1
ALWAYS USE UPPER CASE TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU ARE ANGRY

Rule # 2
There is no such thing as using too many exclamation points!!!!!!!!! 6 or 7 of those little suckers are a good replacement for facts.

Rule # 3
When in doubt blame Clinton

Rule # 4
Remember good American...only terrorist hating commies don't like the president.

Rule # 5
When faced with a reply from an informed commie loving liberal you can either refer to rule # 3 or run like hell and avoid any real debate.

Rule # 6
Did we mention ALWAYS BLAME CLINTON? A potent message can be made by combining rules #2 and # 3. Here is an example. When replying to a post questioning how you can support a deserter and convicted criminal who is flushing the country down the toilet you can answer: YEAH WELL CLINTON LIED ABOUT MONICA!!!!!!!!

Rule # 7
When asked to give facts you can either refer to rule #2 or quote some lie you heard on Rush today.

Rule #8
Use words and insult people.

Rule #9
Say that Critics of Bush hate our troops.

Rule #10
Use the words "REAL" "AMERICANS" and "PATRIOTS" a few times. This makes it seem that anyone who disagrees with them is a communist bent on over throwing the government.

Rule #11
Add the words "values" "Christian" and "the bible says" to any post you happen to be writing, regardless of the subject.

Rule #12
When you get really frustrated hurl fecal references. If that doesn't work start perseverating on penises and semen. If that doesn't work start making anus references.